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I was talking to a guy from San Francisco this week, and the
subject turned to earthquakes. This long-time SF resident and survivor of the
big quake of 1989 offered some very practical advice for me to share with my
son, a San Francisco newbie, fortunately naïve about the seriousness of going
through an earthquake. His focus was not on what to do during the crisis—although that advice is critical as well—but
rather what to do before hand. How to be prepared for this challenging
situation, because being prepared, as he put it, is the surest way to increase
survival.
Imagine that while sitting and discussing such matters my
mind moved to you, my dear readers. No, there’s no need to worry about
earthquakes for most of you. Rather, the subject of preparedness as a means to
ensure survival and minimize damage struck me as most fitting—whether you
struggle with an eating disorder or living free of diet rules.
Have a plan, he
said. In San Francisco that might mean knowing which are the secure places to
hover—the solid doorways and tables to stay under. But before it strikes, he
emphasized that it’s critical to have an action plan: to keep cash on
hand—because you never know when you’ll need it and ATM machines simply don’t
work in these situations. Have a plan for communicating with those you’re close
with—because electric doorbells to apartment buildings will fail and telephone
lines other than landlines will fail. A transistor radio helps you connect with
the world—to reality check what’s going on outside of your own limited space.
You’ll need light of course—so batteries and flashlights need to be stashed to
access easily. And of course a supply of
non-perishable food as well as water. Decision-making when undernourished will
surely be compromised.
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| Time to come out of hiding and ask for what you need. |
You can guess where I’m going with this. Yes, the analogy
applies to you who are metaphorically on no greater solid ground. Communication
is key to survival, and planning for opening these channels is critical. Can
you tell your partner you’re struggling? Can you ask for help shopping and
cooking to ensure your health and nourishment? Can you simply say “I need a
place to eat dinner tonight?” Can you ask them to keep the pastries off the
counter when you are trying to avoid impulse eating? Can you ask for a referral
to a therapist or a behaviorally oriented dietician?
Where’s your
transistor radio, so to speak, your exposure to the world outside of your own
thoughts? Admittedly the cultural media may not be the most fitting reality
check for sane thoughts, for diet-free messages, unfortunately. What I mean is
that you need exposure outside of your own disorder thoughts—someone that can
ground you when you are limited inside your own space. Were you really happier when you were so much
thinner? Did staying on that crazy diet truly improve your quality of life?
Your mental health? Or are you using
magical thinking like the way we recall old boyfriends/relationships, fantasizing about how awesome it all was--when really it was nothing of the sort? Do
you think you’ll restrict just for now
and then be able to simply normalize your eating? Think again!
Do you have a grounding place to run to—your doctor,
therapist, dietician, perhaps even a higher level of care—if your foundation is
shaking? Do you have ready to eat food for when resources are tough to come by?
A reserve for when, due to all the stress, your ability to organize and think
through what’s best to eat may be impaired?
Where will your light come from when the power goes out? Do
you recharge with talk therapy, or maybe yoga or meditation? Do you get
spiritual support or guidance from wise friends or loved ones?
You may get no warning before the quake, before the shake up
to your healthy behaviors and thoughts. So have a plan. Be prepared.
What steps will you take? Please share—we can all use to
hear some ideas!
Read more about slips and relapses:
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ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. And do take a look at my post entitled: "what I learned about food addition" to hear a very different view on 'food sobriety and addicition'.
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DeleteIt's interesting to read about being prepared. I think I am pretty good at preparing- my freezer is stocked as is my pantry. I have more than enough food. I even have prepped meals for a few days ahead. It's almost like I am spending so much time and energy on that that then I don't eat any of what I worked so hard on. I'm currently having a lot of trouble getting out of my own head, and I can't seem to figure out how to eat normally and not hate my body.
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